Who am I to become? I live in a society that tells me to be carefree. Do what feels good. I don’t buy this. I look to the bible. This is where it becomes difficult. I can not find a solid answer. I find the bible to be the most complex thing in the world. It can’t be understood. There is a contradiction to everything. Not in a way which it has to be either black or white, with black and white both saying they are right. But in a way which we have blue and yellow statements, and we must hold them both tight to create green. Paradox. The bible is made up of paradoxes, and I can not understand them. So who am I to become? Should I drop everything for God? Get up and leave my family without goodbye? Where would I go? What would I do? Or do I continue my life the way it is. Do my best at everything I do, giving praise to God? I do not know. I am told people will hate me because of Christ. What if no one hates me? Am I doing it wrong? How am I to live? Who I am to become? I can not answer this. I feel dissatisfied. I can’t live in foolishness. Foolishness ends in death. How do I live according to God? Do I want to live for God? Of course I do. So how? I am unsure. How am I to live? I find myself repeating this question, unable to answer. Where do I turn? It is unknown. One thing I do know is I must trust. Must have faith. Faith in the unknown. Trust God will take me there. So it is by faith and trust that I shall live. Where this will lead me, I do not know. But it is my only option. Trusting in someone I cannot know exists. Is this foolishness? I hope not. It is faith. For it is faith I shall live by. Faith and Trust. It’s all I can do. It’s what I must do.