Journal Entry: Faith and Trust

March 25th

Who am I to become? I live in a society that tells me to be carefree. Do what feels good. I don’t buy this. I look to the bible. This is where it becomes difficult. I can not find a solid answer. I find the bible to be the most complex thing in the world. It can’t be understood. There is a contradiction to everything. Not in a way which it has to be either black or white, with black and white both saying they are right. But in a way which we have blue and yellow statements, and we must hold them both tight to create green. Paradox. The bible is made up of paradoxes, and I can not understand them. So who am I to become? Should I drop everything for God? Get up and leave my family without goodbye? Where would I go? What would I do? Or do I continue my life the way it is. Do my best at everything I do, giving praise to God? I do not know. I am told people will hate me because of Christ. What if no one hates me? Am I doing it wrong? How am I to live? Who I am to become? I can not answer this. I feel dissatisfied. I can’t live in foolishness. Foolishness ends in death. How do I live according to God? Do I want to live for God? Of course I do. So how? I am unsure. How am I to live? I find myself repeating this question, unable to answer. Where do I turn? It is unknown. One thing I do know is I must trust. Must have faith. Faith in the unknown. Trust God will take me there. So it is by faith and trust that I shall live. Where this will lead me, I do not know. But it is my only option. Trusting in someone I cannot know exists. Is this foolishness? I hope not. It is faith. For it is faith I shall live by. Faith and Trust. It’s all I can do. It’s what I must do.

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2 thoughts on “Journal Entry: Faith and Trust

  1. I struggle with similar things, wondering what God wants for me and wondering what He has in store for me. It is definitely hard to focus and hear God’s voice when we have so many distractions and noises around us. Faith is what keeps me going; knowing I have a loving Heavenly Father who has my back! Thanks for sharing!

    1. True that! It can be hard to tell what voices to listen to, and which ones not to! We get lost in our own thoughts. Yes, me to! If it wasn’t for faith, I would be so lost. Yes no problem, thanks for your comments!

      God Bless!

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