Can’t Fight God

This summer I realized that I feel pretty positive God is going to have me doing public speaking sometime in my life. I am very scared of this thought. Deep down it sounds super exciting to be able to speak infront of people, but I am deathly afraid of it, and have made up every excuse in the book as to why I can’t do public speaking. At the time I realized that I knew God wanted me to do public speaking, I was spending 5 days with Him trying to figure out what God had in store for me in my life. I was listening to a christian speaker on day 3, and something he said, I don’t remember what it was, but something he said gave me this feeling deep down inside of me, a gut feeling, that sometime in my life, God is going to have me doing some kind of public speaking, I just don’t know when. I texted a few of my friends after that, and they thought that it would be absolutely perfect for me, but I was still afraid. I remember after this 5 day vacation with God, I was talking with Him, and knowing how wrong this was, I told God that I am going to avoid public speaking to the best of my ability, but if He really wants me to do it, He will make it happen and I will surely abide.

The school year started and right away I was asked to teach multi-media and coach soccer at my old high-school. I agreed to it, and I didn’t see it as to big of a public speaking role. However shortly after I accepted that, the school asked me if I wanted another role to play. That role was to be a monthly speaker at chapel(Chapel happens everyday at the school. It is a15-30 min short church service for the students). Completely forgetting about the conversation I had with God, I completely rejected the offer. I was scared beyond beliefe and gave every excuse in the world as to why I can’t, a few of them even rebutted with me telling me that I am completely capable of it. Ultimately I denied the role they asked of me, and even more importanlty the I denied Gods plan and His ability to help me. It took me a long time before I realized what I did, and when I did I felt absolutely horrible about it. I remembered I had told God that, yes I am going to avoid it at all costs, but if He presented it to me, I would do it. So I prayed to God about that a lot and asked for His forgiveness.

That was many months ago and I had slowly started to forget about it. God has now presented me with another opportunity. At the time that I had originally realized that God was going to use me as a public speaker at some point in my life, I had decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International, which I completely recommend to everyone because it is one of the easiest and greatest tasks you can do for a child in need and bring them closer to Jesus. It’s a truly amazing experience. Well just the other day I received a letter from Compassion International. Apparently I have been one of their “most faithful and committed sponsors” and they have asked me to do a little public speaking for them. They want me to speak infront of my church so that I “can change the story for many children in desperate need.” They want me to speak about Compassion International and ultimately have more people sponsor children. Instead of giving me a small task of speaking infront of some students, now God wants me to speak infront of my whole congregation!

Rethinking through all of this, it really makes me realize that God is smarter than us and has a plan. I love how God put in on my heart that I knew I would speak for Him someday. He knew from the very start that I was going to reject speaking at chapel infront of the highschool, so right than and there He gave me the backup plan, which I knew realize was His plan all along. The very next day after I realized what God wanted of me, He had me sponsor a child so that I would end up speaking for these children in need. It just makes me laugh how God knows what we are to do and sets it all up, before we even realize it. I also laugh because before I could reject this second opportunity of public speaking, He gave me a complete instruction manual of everything that I need to say and do, all I need to do is be the voice to the people. Every bit of the presentation is COMPLETELY planned out, I all have to do is be the voice to the people. God isn’t letting me give Him excuses this time. And this is one of the many reasons why I LOVE God!

I want to ask of those of you reading this, that you will give me the strength, courage, and obedience to be the voice for these children in need, and that I will not turn down this God planned opportunity.


Memory Verse of the Week:
1 Timothy 4:12

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.


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4 thoughts on “Can’t Fight God

  1. Joshua you are not alone my friend. Right away I started thinking about Moses and his argument with God over the very same issue. I do a lot of speaking now and started out right where you are at now. It gets easier. I just read this book and loved it. It’s a very real look at speaking and the stuff we all battle through. Anyway I thought it might encourage you. Great post and good luck!

    Here is the book – Confessions of a Public Speaker By:Scott Berkun

    1. Yeah me to! It’s funny to think as a child I always thought how foolish Moses had to have been to tell God He can’t do it. But in reality, we all do it everyday. Same with the story of Jonah, He purposely runs away from God, but God still uses him.

      Alrighty thanks! I will most certainly read that book then! Thanks!

  2. I also sponsor through Compassion International, and I amazed how God has worked in my heart. I learn more from my precious sponsored children then I think they learn from me!

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